


Flowers don't tell; they show

by theresstilllifeinheryet



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hanahaki Disease, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Slow To Update, alex is oblivious, im ace but i obviously read alot of fanfiction, im sorry lin, jeffersons an ass, might do smut later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresstilllifeinheryet/pseuds/theresstilllifeinheryet
Summary: John stared down, horrified at his now blood stained hands. It wasn't, however, the blood that had frightened him. No, it was the single red rose petal laying with it.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. Unrequited

_'John stared down, horrified at his now blood stained hands. It wasn't, however, the blood that had frightened him. No, it was the single red rose petal laying with it.'_

**_June 4th_ **

John had always been in love with Alexander Hamilton, it was clear to everyone except for Alex. He had remained oblivious to Johns pining for the entirety of their friendship, every love struck glance, smile, and touch went right over Alex's head. If Alex needed a ride it was John who'd be there, when Eliza broke up with him John was right next to Alexander picking up the pieces. 

When Alexander was neglecting his health for his work it was John who would pull him away and force him to eat and sleep. It was quite simple really, John was undeniably in love with his best friend and he despised himself for it. It's hard enough pretending to be straight when he was so obviously in love with someone who was clearly not someone of the fairer sex. John knew he was gay, heck his friends knew he was gay! But his family, however, did not. And John didn't plan on clueing them in anytime soon. His father, Henry Laurens, was the senator of South Carolina. And like the traditional red neck he was he had made his views on homosexuality very clear. 

When John's mother was still alive Henry had kept his homophobic thoughts to himself for the most part. But after she died Henry made it clear every time he saw a gay couple on TV that conversion therapy was the only way to fix the 'gay agenda', and John hadn't bothered to correct him. He wanted to say something, just come out and say 'dad, I'm gay!' but that just couldn't happen. At least not while John was still living with him which he would be doing so till he went away to college in the fall. Despite his fathers wishes John was going to become an artist and not a lawyer as his father had hoped. 

John liked to ponder over how he would tell his father how very not straight he was, and that's exactly what he was doing as he was coming home from the lake with Alexander, Lafayette, and Hercules. How would he do it? Would he come home adorned with rainbow clothes? Would he make a post on Twitter? Would he let his picture be taken at a pride parade? It was equally funny and terrifying imagining his fathers face when he would finally tell him. John stepped into the house and closed the door behind him. He didn't bother locking it, if someone robbed them John would point them to the most expensive things. He ran upstairs to his room and closed the door. He fell to his bed with a huff, the sheets were cool in contrast to the hot South Carolinian sun outside. He rolled over onto his back and sat up, reaching for his sketchbook and pencils. He kicked off his shoes so he could cross his legs on his mattress. He leaned against the headboard and flipped open to a blank page in his sketchbook. He reached for a 4H pencil, he needed a light one for the outline, and began to sketch. He lost himself in it, his pencil swept across the page, sketching out the face he knew so well. He was sketching Alexander again. It wasn't intentional, it just happened. John loved to draw Alex, he was the perfect model. John picked up a B pencil to darken the irises in portrait Alexander's eyes. But despite How hard John tried he could never get Alex's eyes just right. They were always filled with this passion that He just couldn't get on paper. As John was fruitlessly trying to get Alex's eyes to his standard

'' Sketching your boyfriend again?''

John practically threw his poor sketchbook. 

''Martha! You can't say that! Someone will hear you. Besides, Alex isn't my boyfriend.''

'' I know, no need to get so bent outta shape about it, also dad says dinner's ready so come downstairs.'' 

John groaned before reluctantly getting up to follow his sister downstairs to the dining room, despite Alex's foster parents, the Washington's, being richer than his father Alex still liked to make fun of the dining room. Something he felt was unneeded when there was a perfectly good table in the kitchen, John couldn't help but share his agreement. His father was already seated at the head of the table reading the newspaper. He looked up when John sat down a few chairs away from him. John ignores his fathers stare and dishes himself a small plate of food, John wants out of this dinner as soon as possible for a moment with his father is a moment wasted. If he's still hungry later he'll sneak downstairs and get some more. John eats as fast as possible without disregarding table manners and giving his father another thing to bitch about.

''What's wrong Jack, not hungry?''

Dammit.

''Yeah, I had a big lunch with the guys.''

John's father nods in response and John can only hope he'll drop it so John can finish eating. Unfortunately the world seems to have it out for him because his father does not in fact drop it.

''Who was all there?''

''Y'know, just Alex, Laf and Herc.''

''Lafayette? The queer boy?

John mouths a silent plea to his sister. She takes notice of John's panic and before John's father can interrogate him further she knocks her glass over so it spills its contents onto the table. The glass falls with a clatter to the wooden floor, miraculously not breaking.

''Martha!'' Henry yells in mild anger.

''Oops, sorry. How clumsy of me.'' Martha giggles, motioning her hand as a wordless leave to John. He takes the hint and grabs his and Martha's plates and retreats to the kitchen. John breathes a sigh of relief and sets the plates on the counter. John runs back upstairs to his room locking the door behind him this time. He feels exhausted, both emotionally and physically. He's drained of any remaining energy he had from the day. He takes off his jeans and t-shirt, switching them for an oversized band shirt and lays back in bed. He wraps the blankets around himself, suddenly feeling very cold. A chill racks through his bones and he shivers. He reaches for his phone and takes notice of the few missed messages from Alex.

**Alex💓💓💓- hey you up?**

**Alex💓💓💓- Not** **that** **kind of you up.**

**Alex💓💓💓- I'm making this worse, I'll stop...**

John snorts at his friends worry over the accidental sexual innuendo. Something Alexander doesn't apologize for unless it was truly accidental. He rereads the messages, smiling to himself, before replying.

**Turtle Boi- Yeah i'm up dont wry abt it (:**

Alex responds almost instantly.

**Alex💓💓💓- can we call?**

**Turtle Boi- Yeah (:**

John's phone begins to ring, Alex's smiling face taking up the screen. John picks up the first ring and without a hello Alex bursts into a rant.

'' John, oh my god, you would not believe what Jeffershit said. This guy has the audacity to come onto my twitter and comment on my trans rights post, y'know the one. The one talking about normalizing putting pronouns in your bio? Anyways, y'know what this guy says? The bitch says that trans people are just faking their gender so we shouldn't normalize rapists pretending to be a different gender to get into bathrooms. Oh my god John, you best believe I ripped him a new one. He can't say he supports LGBTQ rights and cherry picks the ones he doesn't like. I'm so mad right now, but oddly enough getting into a fight with Jefferson and then winning and then telling you about it makes me feel better.''

John smiles.

''Well I suppose I'm happy that forcing me to listen to you rant made you feel better.''

He says it in a light, teasing tone so Alex knows he's joking. John could listen to Alex rant for days.

''Well, I thought we were friends, but then you go make a mockery of my character!.'' Alex says in mock hurt, adding in a little sniffle for extra dramatics.

''Oh don't be like that Lexi.'' John calls into the receiver.

''Using a despised nickname Jonathen? Well two can play at that game!''

''For the last time, John is not short for Jonathen.''

''Oh I know, and I also know you hate it, Jonathen'' John can practically hear his smirk through the phone.

''Oh well now you're just being petty!''

After another hour or so of idle banter, John is too tired to continue talking. He tells Alex to try and get some sleep though he knows his request is futile. John puts his phone on his bedside table and turns the ringer all the way up so he'll wake if Alex calls him again and drifts off into an exhausted sleep.

When John wakes up he's greeted with an awful headache and a burning fever. He shoves his too hot blankets off of himself and they fall to the ground, forming a tangled lump on the floor. He reaches a hand up to his face to brush away the long curls sticking to forehead. His face is sticky with sweat and John is finding it hard to breath, it's a crushing feeling in his chest. He sits up breathing deeply through his mouth trying to brush away the panic. This has no effect whatsoever and John feels like he's going to vomit. He darts up out of bed and falls into the adjoining bathroom, crouching low next to the toilet. Harsh coughs rack through him as he leans into the bowl desperately trying to free his wind pipes. Another painful cough tears through him and his hands shoot up to his mouth on instinct. When he stops coughing he looks down at his hands. John stared down, horrified at his now blood stained hands. It wasn't, however, the blood that had frightened him. No, it was the single red rose petal laying with it. He can't have it. It's impossible! John knew he was lying to himself but he couldn't bring himself to accept the truth. If he has hanahaki then he knows his love is unrequited. The thought feels like a blow to the chest and he starts to vomit up more of the wretched petals.

John whimpers into his arm, leaning against the cool porcelain of the toilet. A small knock from his bedroom door startles him out of his crying. 

''Jacky? I heard you coughing are you okay?'' Martha's concerned voice asks through the door. John tries to respond but only succeeds in puking up more flowers. Martha must hear it and John can hear the door knob rattling.

''John? Can you unlock the door?''

John wants to let his sister in, really he does. But he's not sure he can.

''I'm gonna pick the lock if you don't answer!'' John sighs, maybe it's for the better. He can hear Martha walk away from the door and come back seconds later. He can hear more rattling which is probably Martha picking the lock. A minute passes before Martha walks in and runs over to her brother. She notices the blood and flowers staining the marble floors and places a comforting hand on Johns' back, rubbing soothing circles in an effort to calm him down.

''Who is it?'' John doesn't think he can speak but tries to anyways.

''A-Alex.'' John stutters. Saying his name makes it all seem worse somehow and John bursts into tears, his sister wrapping her arms around him. John hopes he'll wake up and this would all be a really bad dream.


	2. Chapter 2

John doesn't know how long he and Martha sit on his bathroom floor, it could have been a few minutes or a few hours but John has no clue. The only indicator that time has passed is the many petals littering the now bloodied tile. John's sobs have stopped but the pain hasn't, Alex is bound to show up to the house when John doesn't answer his phone or show up to school. Will he be disgusted? Will he hate him now that Johns ruined their once inseparable friendship? What about Lafayette and Hercules? Will they pity him or will they be disgusted with him too? John can't help but feel it's the latter. He hates himself for this, he just had to go and fall in love with Alexander, didn't he? John prys himself away from Martha to lay against the bathtub. He inhales a shaky breath, scared of coughing up more flowers. Martha backs up against the opposing wall.

‘’John?’’, she says. She doesn't address him very loud, probably so she won't gather the attention of their father. John doesn't know if he can respond so he just looks at her and tilts his head to ask ‘what?’ ‘’What do we tell Dad?’’ Oh yeah, John had forgotten about that.

‘’Well, I don't suppose I should tell him it's Alex.’’ John pushes himself off the floor and walks to his sink. He grabs a glass from the counter and pours himself some water. He brings the glass to his lips and relishes in the cool feel of the water soothing his irritated throat.

‘’You could tell him it's one of your gal friends. Like what about Maria?’’

‘’She's dating Eliza.’’ His sister shoots from her seat on the floor to where John is standing, startling him so his back hits the counter.

‘’When did this happen?’’ His sister asks excitedly. Martha had been trying to get Maria to admit her feelings for Eliza for almost a year now. John had meant to tell her sooner but he was a little preoccupied with his own crush to remember his friend's happy love lives. ‘’Sorry, this is about you, not them. I’ll just call Maria later. So you really plan on not only telling dad you've got Hanahaki but that you're overwhelmingly gay and it’s Alexander who you have a crush on. The same Alexander that dads been shit talking since he met him? Cause that sounds pretty fucking stupid.’’ John agrees with her, it is a stupid plan. But it had to be said eventually.

‘’He has to find out eventually, what better time to tell him then when I’m on my deathbed? Mabey the thought of his eldest son dying will make him forget he's supposed to be homophobic?’’ John laughs bitterly.

‘’Fine, it's your decision. It's a stupid ass decision but ill support you nonetheless.’’ Martha sighs. John smiles at his sister. At least he knows he’s got someone on his side.

‘’Has dad left for work yet?’’ John worries he'll no longer have the confidence to say anything if he has to wait till his father is due to return that night.

‘’No, he said something about not leaving till nine today so you have about thirty minutes.’’ John realizes with a surge of guilt that Martha is late for school because of him.

‘’Okay, I’ll go see him. Do you need me to write you an absence note?’’ Martha shakes her head.

‘’Nah, I’ll be fine. Go talk to dad and I’ll slip out the back door so he doesn't realize that I'm not at school either.’’ John pulls his sister into a tight hug, knowing very well that he might be disowned soon.

‘’I love you, Mars.’’ John mumbles into her curls.

‘’I love you too Jacky.’’Martha hugs him impossibly tighter before letting go. ‘’Text me to let me know how things went.’’

John manages a weak smile before Martha leaves the bathroom. John takes a minute to both let his sister leave and gather some much needed calm your tits time. John inhales a shaky breath and checks his phone which already has about four missed texts from Alex and a missed call. It's only eight forty so he still has twenty minutes. He shuts off his phone so a call from Alex won't interrupt his talk with his father. John leaves his bathroom and walks out his bedroom door slowly walking down the hallway and almost mechanically descending the stairs to the first floor to his dad's office. He approaches his father's burgundy door, hesitating before giving it a quick knock. No turning back now. He can hear his father grunt in reply which is as good as a ‘come in’ Johns going to get. So John opens the door and walks in. His father looks up from his computer and gives John a questioning look.

‘’What are you still doing here Jack? Aren't you supposed to be in school?’’ His father grunts.

‘’Well yes-’’

‘’Then what are you still doing here?’’ John feels sick with anxiety.

‘’Well Dad, I have to tell you something and it's really important.’’ Oh God, John thinks, I'm gonna die. ‘’I have Hannahaki, I've been puking petals since this morning’’ John's father looks up from his computer to stare John in the eyes.

‘’Well, who is it?’’ John's father looks like he's gonna start to yell. Might as well just rip it off like a bandaid, John thinks glumly.

‘’Well Dad that's also part of what I wanted to tell you, I’m gay and Alex is the reason I have Hanahaki.’’ The anger in his father's eyes is probably going to haunt John for the rest of his life.

‘’What did you say?’’ His father's voice is calm but his face gives away how truly angry he is.

‘’I’m gay and in love with Alexander.’’ John can't tell if he's going to cry or puke at this point, probably both.

‘’No, you're not.’’ His father's voice wavers a little, scaring John but John presses on.

‘’Yes I am, I know I am. I've known for years.’’ John hates how his voice shakes and he hates how vulnerable that makes him feel.

‘’No, You're not. We'll Get you the surgery so you won't feel anything for that bastard-’’ John tunes him out. It’s one thing to insult him but a whole other to insult Alexander. Johns's father is still talking when John cuts him off.

‘’Don’t talk about him like that.’’ John's voice is barely a whisper but he knows his father heard him.

‘’Excuse me?’’ Great, his father is even angrier. Whatever, John thinks to himself in amusement, the shit hit the fan forever ago might as well go out with a bang.

‘’I said, don’t talk about him like that. Did you hear me this time or should I repeat myself?’’ The euphoria that comes from standing up to his father tunes out John's previous anxiety. John takes delight in the anger on his father's face from being talked back to. ‘’Now you listen here boy-’’ His father starts but John cuts him off. ‘’No, you listen. You have no right to talk about him like that. Talking to me like that is one thing but don’t talk about Alexander.’’

‘’Why John? He’s a bastard, orphan, immigrant queer from the Caribbean. I told you he wasn't worth your time the first time I met him and you never listened and now look what happened! He’s pushed his agenda on you so now you're confused about your feelings.’’ His father opens his mouth to continue but John stops him.

‘’I’m not confused, I know I’m gay, and that's on you if you choose to ignore that. Alex did nothing to change that. And in case you’ve forgotten, I’m not white either, you can’t fucking talk about his ethnicity when I’m just as brown as he is. In case you've ignored this mom was very much not white.’’John knows he should stop talking but he's on a roll. ‘’And another thing, If mom were here she would have accepted me. She would have told me she loved me not how she wanted to fix me.’’ His father's eyes seem to glaze over at that and for a moment John thinks maybe he’s not angry anymore?

‘’Get out.’’ Even though John was expecting this it doesn't stop it from hurting.

‘’Dad?’’ John's father glares at him.

‘’You’re no son of mine. Get out of my house.’’

John nods at his father. No, Henry and runs upstairs. He turns his phone on as he runs to his bedroom. He grabs a suitcase and starts shoving clothes into it. A small series of dings signals to John that his phone has powered on. They are soon followed by another series of dings signaling the many missed notifications most of which are probably from Alex. John picks up his phone, typing in his code before going to his messages.

Alex💓💓💓- Hey where are you?

Alex💓💓💓- You coming to school today?

Alex💓💓💓- You sleep in or something?

Alex💓💓💓- John, Can you please respond?

Alex💓💓💓- John??

2 missed calls from ‘Alex💓💓💓’

Alex💓💓💓- Okay please pick up the phone.

Alex💓💓💓- If you aren't going to answer me can you at least text Laf or something?

3 missed calls from ‘Alex💓💓💓’

Alex💓💓💓- That's it, if you don't text me or Laf or Hercules in the next five minutes I'm coming over

Alex💓💓💓- John??

Alex💓💓💓- Okay I'm coming over

Alex💓💓💓- I'm five minutes away you better have a good excuse.

John looks at the screen in horror. Alexander is coming here, here to his old house. He’ll be here in five minutes. John knows there won't be any way he's going to get out of it so he runs to the bathroom which promptly looks like someone was murdered by a bouquet and grabs all of his bath stuff running back into the bedroom to throw them into his suitcase. He closes the door to his bathroom and locks it so there's no chance of Alex finding out about his, for lack of better words, predicament. His phone begins to ring, Alex's smiling face fills the screen. John answers on the third ring and brings the phone up to his ear.

‘’Alex?’’ John feels like he’s going to cry.

‘’John? Oh, thank god. Okay, I’m outside your house, what's wrong?’’ Yep, definitely going to cry.

‘’I uh came out to my dad. He disowned me, I’m packing my bags as we speak.’’ John breaks at the last word and starts to cry.

‘’I’m gonna kill him,’’ Alex growls from the other end.

‘’How about you just sneak in and help me pack my shit?’’ John sighs, wiping his face with the back of his hoodie’s sleeve.

‘’Fine, but you’re staying with me. And don’t you dare object.’’

Well fuck. John sighs and tells him to go through the back door so Henry doesn't hear him come in. Alex hangs up and John continues to shove clothes into his suitcase. When he can't fit anymore in he grabs another and begins putting in the more delicate things such as his laptop and his drawing tablet. He tosses his charger in there as well and puts a soft blanket on top of the electronics and crawls under his bed to retrieve his box of art supplies. A creak of the stairs tells John that Alex is here and John feels like he’s going to start coughing again. He swallows hard and pulls the box out from under his bed. Alex opens the door soon after and wraps his arms around John, engulfing him in a hug. John hugs back after a few seconds of startled silence.

‘’Let's finish packing before he calls the cops.’’ John sighs.

‘’Okay.’’ Alex pulls away from John,” Is that your art stuff?’’ He points to the box John had pulled out from under the bed.

“Yeah, just put it in the open suitcase, and ill grab some stuff from my closet.”

John heads over to his closet and pulls out a few hoodies he couldn't bear to part with and reaches in the far back where he knows his emergency savings are. Unknown to Henry Laurens, John had been taking small amounts from his trust fund and transferring them onto a separate card. He had been doing this for about four years now and had saved up quite a bit of money. John reached around before finally coming across the battered Gryffindor wallet that contained his secret bank card. John buried it in his suitcase next to his art stuff. Alex was taking pictures off the mirror on his desk and putting them in between the pages of his sketchbook so they wouldn't get damaged in the suitcase. He finished rather quickly and shoved the sketchbook atop countless others and zipped the suitcase shut, standing up and reaching for John's backpack, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Is that everything?” Alex asked. John gazed around his old room. He had spent so much time in here, chatting with Martha, sketching, hanging with his friends when Henry was away on business trips. But looking around at the now bare room made John feel sick. This wasn't his room anymore, he shouldn't be feeling this nostalgic. John looked at Alex and nodded his head grabbing one of the suitcases Alex trailing right behind him. John rolled his suitcase out to the back door pushing the patio door open. Alex followed him out and they rolled the suitcases around the house and to the sidewalk where Alex’s beat up chevy truck was waiting. Much to Johns's surprise both Lafayette and Hercules were waiting in the back.

“Mon Ami! Alexandre told us what had happened, est-ce que ça va?” Laf really didn't beat around the bush when it came to their friends well being, they always went straight to the point.

“I’ll be fine Laf, I just wanna get away from his house.’’ John tossed his suitcase into the bed of the truck and Alex followed suit, tossing the other back there as well and putting John's backpack into the large bin he keeps there for things not heavy enough to stay put otherwise. John jumps into the front passenger side seat and buckles his seat belt. Alex gets in front and puts the keys into the ignition, starting the engine before driving off. John rests his head against his window. Today had been exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mon Ami: My Friend  
> Est-ce que ça va?: Are you okay
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, feel free to drop a comment or leave kudos if you liked it. And I do accept constructive criticism as this is my first time really writing angst.  
> Stay safe my lovely readers (:


	3. Chapter 3

John is suddenly awoken by someone shaking him gently. He looks over to Alexander who has his hand on John's shoulder.

‘’John? Do you want me to bring your bags inside for you? It won't be any trouble if you're still tired.’’ Alex’s voice is laced with concern and John hates it.

‘’No, I’ll be fine.’’ John tries a small smile to reassure Alexander but it comes out as more of a grimace.

Alex looks like he wants to protest this but decides against it and for that John is grateful. Alex can be a little much when it comes to his opinions, and it's not like John hates this prominent feature but it's often directed at John's health and safety which really annoys him. John is old enough to take care of himself, he doesn't need to be coddled. When John doesn't step out of the car immediately Alex adorns his, as his friends like to call it, his ‘Protest face’. This particular face consists of Alexander pursing his lips enough so it's barely visible and squinting his eyes enough so they crinkle at the sides. Upon seeing this John jumps out of the car before Alexander can say anything about John's ability to carry a suitcase. Unfortunately for John he loses his balance and falls right into Alexander who manages to catch him before he can send both of them into the pavement. John steadies himself by grabbing hold of Alex's shirt. After John steadies himself he looks up to meet Alexander's gaze. Alexander seems to be attempting to hold back his laughter. The close proximity sends blood right to John's face which is soon followed by the uncomfortable feeling of petals trying to push their bloody way up to John's throat. John swallows and forces himself away from Alexander. Alex takes one look at John’s beet-red face and bursts into laughter.

‘’Dick!’’ John punches Alexander in the arm to properly exert his embarrassment, ignoring the close call. This only fuels Alexander's laughter and he doubles over close to tears. Before John knows it he's laughing too, leaning against the truck for support. John's worry seems to just melt away with their laughter and he finds himself genuinely smiling for the first time that day.

‘’C’mon you prick, help me bring my suitcases in,’’ John says once he stops laughing.

Alex perks up at the insult knowing John is back to his original self. Alex jumps in the bed of his truck and opens the bin to retrieve John's backpack. He passes it down to John and gently tosses the two suitcases over onto the pavement. John slings his backpack over his shoulder and grabs one of his suitcases. Alex hops out of the bed and onto the pavement next to John's second suitcase, picking it up and leading John into his adopted parents' house. George and Martha Washinton had been fostering him for almost six years before officially adopting him in June of last year. Alexander had chosen to keep his last name rather than change it because ‘Alexander Washington’ didn't have the same ring to it as ‘Alexander Hamilton’.

John can still remember the first day he’d met Alexander. Alexander was eleven and fresh from his once beautiful hometown, now wrecked by a terrible hurricane (which has haunted Alexander since it happened.) when he showed up at Johns middle school. John had been sitting in the back of the class with Laf and Herc, not so subtly watching Netflix under the table. The teacher had left the classroom to pick up the new student who had probably finished their orientation by now and told the class to continue working on their ridiculously dull worksheet. To no one's surprise, almost no one continued on the work except for Aaron Burr who sighed and continued working and ignored the chaos conspiring around him. The class quickly shut up when the teacher came back about fifteen minutes later with a scrawny boy who looked ready to tell someone off.

‘’Class, this is Alexander. Alexander, why don't you introduce yourself? Mabey says a few things about yourself as well?’’ The teacher walked back to her desk leaving the boy, Alexander, to fend for himself.

‘’Okay, my name is Alexander Hamilton. I just moved here from the Caribbean. I fluently speak Spanish, creole french, Hebrew, and of course English. I like to write and I dabble in poetry. I’m bisexual and my pronouns are he/him.’’ John couldn't help but take note of Alexander's eyes during his introduction. Despite them being somewhat obscured by the slightly too big glasses, Alexander had these beautiful brown-gold eyes and if John was closer he would have soon taken note of the way they seemed to go lilac around the edges of the corneas. He had dark bags under his eyes and wonderfully long eyelashes. His eyes glowed with an almost fiery passion when he talked and the way he spoke with such confidence only added to it. Alexander had untidy dark brown hair that fell around his shoulders, he was wearing a slightly too big black Les Miserables hoodie that had definitely seen better days and dark blue skinny jeans.

‘’Thank you Alexander for that wonderful introduction! Now, there's a free seat next to John in the back, John will you please raise your hand so Alexander knows what you look like.’’ John silently raised his hand and Alexander met his eyes with a small grin.

‘’Thank you, John, Alexander please take a seat next to John, I’m sure he’ll help you catch up with the rest of the class.’’ The teacher stood up from her desk and walked to Alexander and handed him the worksheet and sat back down. Alexander nodded and walked over to John’s, now their, seat. Alexander sat down next to John, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

‘’Hi.’’ Alexander held a hand out for John to take. John carefully took the other boy's hand in his grasp marveling at how soft his hands were.

‘’H-Hi, my name John, uh John Laurens.’’John stammered, carefully shaking his hand. John released the other boy's hand lest he ended up holding it long enough to make it awkward. Before Alexander could respond to John's pitiful introduction or ask who Lafayette and Hercules were, the teacher continued her lesson saying something about a math equation John could really care less about. John took notice of Lafayette quickly scribbling something down on a sheet of paper. They slid the note over to John for him to read.

‘Tu ne vas pas nous présenter ton bel ami, mon ami?’ John rolled his eyes and scribbled a note of his own under the original. And slid it back to Laf.

‘I’ll invite him to lunch (;’ They nodded at him and John tore off a piece of the paper to write a short message to Alexander.

‘Do you want to eat lunch with us?’ John slid the note over before he could end up overthinking it.

Alexander looked over the note and turned his head to John. Alexander nodded and graced John with another smile, one that seemed to reach his eyes. Even John’s adolescent self had known he was in deep.

Alexander grabbed two of John's suitcases and led him to the front door which had been left open by laf and Herc. John followed him into the house, taking in the familiar sight of the Washington's house. John had been not even two steps in the front door when Miss. Washington (She insisted they call her Martha.) Bounded towards John and engulfed him in a tight hug.

‘’Oh John, I’m so sorry. Alexander told me what happened.’’ John hugged back, though still slightly taken aback by Martha's concern.

‘’It’s okay Martha, It was bound to happen sometime.’’ John offered a weak smile to distract from his still scratchy voice.

Martha frowned at John for a moment before pulling away, sighing slightly.

‘’Well, we have the spare bedroom set up so If you and Alexander want to bring your things upstairs I’ll get some leftovers from breakfast set out. I doubt you’ve eaten anything yet.’’ Martha gave John's hand a gentle squeeze before walking off to the kitchen to heat up some leftovers.

Alexander walked past John and motioned for him to follow, John walked silently behind Alexander ignoring the throbbing pain in his chest. They walked up the stairs with little difficulty despite the bulky suitcases and walked past Alexander's room to the spare that would now be Johns. The room was quite spacious and had a, presumably, soft queen-sized bed off to the far wall. A large window backed the bed looking out to a quite beautiful view of Martha's garden in the backyard. The room was slightly smaller than John's old room but he wasn't complaining, it was much more homely than his fathers' house which John appreciated. John haphazardly threw his backpack on the bed and set the suitcase down in front of the closet. Alexander followed suit, placing the other suitcase next to the other one. John glanced over at Alexander who ran a shaky hand through his brown hair. John spoke up, feeling the need to say something to clear the awkward air.

‘’Alex?’’ Alexander startled, whipping his head around to look at John. ‘’I- Well, thank you for helping me.’’ Alex seemed to relax somewhat and walked over to John and wrapped his arms around him. John couldn't help but smile. Considering he was disowned today he sure was being hugged a lot.

‘’You don’t have to thank me, John. Do you have any idea how worried I was? Of course, I helped you, we’re friends aren't we?’’ Ouch, that hurt. John could feel the threat of more petals bubbling in his throat. They seemed to mock him and being friendzoned, John swallowed fast and pulled away from Alex.

‘’Of course, uh I have to call my sister but, uh, I’ll be down for Martha’s leftovers soon okay?’’ John giggled nervously, he hoped he wasn’t giving away how panicked he was.

‘’Uh, sure.’’ Alexander pulled John in for another quick hug before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

John could faintly hear Alexander shooing away, who John assumed to be, Laf and Hercules. John smiled a little at the thoughtfulness, the smile was quickly wiped away as flowers began to bubble up his throat past the point of just swallowing them and John ran to his garbage, spitting up a few petals. John stared at the garbage can, horrified. He was living in Alexander's house now. The same Alexander that has, unknowingly, given him this wretched disease. How was he going to keep this a secret? John let out a shuddering breath and got up off the carpeted floor and reached for the tissue box on the bedside table and took a few out and threw them in the garbage to cover the bloody petals from view.

He’d tell him eventually, he would have to. Before it became too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay sorry for the cheesy ending, I just couldn't help myself lol. Once again, thank you so much for reading, please feel free to leave a comment it really makes my day. Also, Happy New Year! I hope my American readers are staying safe considering what's happening in DC. And I hope the rest of you are staying safe during the pandemic, remember to wear a mask and wash your hands and just stay safe (:

**Author's Note:**

> and we're off! I've had this idea in my head for a while so I'm super exited to start this journey with you! Please feel free to leave kudos and comment, comments keep me inspired to write more (:


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